Today marks my two-year tic anniversary. Two years ago, I developed what would soon be diagnosed as Tourette’s Syndrome. There are many words I could use to describe Tourette’s. Embarrassing, bizarre, frustrating, upsetting, hilarious, rage-inducing, memorable and so many more. My relationship with it? Love/hate, minus the love. It sucks. Don’t get me wrong, I do see the amusing side of it. It can be hilarious at times. It has created so many funny stories in the short time I’ve had it, but it has also created embarrassing moments and painful injuries.
Before I started ticcing, what I knew Tourette’s to be was the swearing condition. I thought it was amusing and just a bit of fun. I didn’t realise that it is so much more. That it is debilitating, uncomfortable and exhausting.
In two years, my viewpoint has changed. I have obtained a much greater understanding of a neurological disorder that often gets overlooked. I have developed greater empathy for others struggling with the condition, and those similar, and I have found a thirst of my own to raise more awareness so other people can gain a new, more accurate, perspective.
The thing about Tourette’s, it is bizarre. It is intriguing and, from an outsider’s perspective, it looks entertaining. However, you see the movements and you hear the noises. What you don’t see and what you don’t feel is the sensation before and after a tic. That shiver, boiling of the blood, itching, pounding, throbbing, aching and everything in between. After a while these feelings can become draining and exhausting. They control everything. For us, that’s not entertainment. It’s part of a condition that we live with daily.
My tics have changed a lot in the past two years. They’ve developed, bringing new ones on a regular basis. The frequency is constantly changing, as is the severity. I hate some of my new tics, I hated some of the old ones. They come and go, so I always have the day they change to look forward to. They change patterns, revert to old ones, then back to the new. Tourette’s is a forever-changing condition and that is why I will never stop learning about it, through both personal and professional experiences.