The other day I was in A&E. The nurse, knowing I have Tourette’s, told me to keep it down because someone in the waiting room had a headache. I’m not unsympathetic, but I can’t control the volume at which I tic. We told her this, to which she replied ‘I know, but…’ The thing is, if she knew I couldn’t control my noises then she wouldn’t have asked me to stop. Similarly, I was punching Perspex glass extremely hard 2 days ago. The person I was with requested that I punch lighter, punch the wall or shadow box instead. I reiterated the inability to control what I was doing, but they persisted in saying that I should not be doing it. I know that it’s not good to punch windows, even more when I feel just how painful it is, but I have just as little ability to control it as I do the weather. I find myself in situations such as these quite often. That’s why I think it is important to write about the amount of control, or there lack of, a person with Tourette’s has over their tics. I think the best way for people to understand something is to relate it with something they know. A very accurate comparison would be ticcing and breathing. Breathing is automatic, you do it without thinking and it’s a natural part of every day life. You can hold your breath for extended periods of time, but it soon starts feeling like you’re suffocating. Sometimes you can comfortably hold it for a minute, other times you may manage longer. That’s like suppressing a tic. Hold your breath until it hurts. Now, imagine somebody telling you to carry on holding your breath and never stop. Your head will start to hurt, and you’ll be in a great deal of pain, but if you can’t breathe again, the pain only gets worse. That’s what it is like to be told to stop, or tic different way. Tourette’s is uncontrollable. You can’t control the weather – we can’t control our tics.