In the grand scheme of things, I haven’t had Tourette’s for long. However, it has already changed my life in so many ways. I know it sounds crazy to say that something like TS can alter the way you live, but for me everything has changed.
People see me differently now. Regardless of their knowledge on Tourette’s, people find it impossible to not judge others based on appearance or behaviour, even if that is just subconsciously. Frequently, I see people believe that I am rude and unruly. Other times, they assume I am mentally challenged, and treat me accordingly. I have built up a good resilience to comments and wrongful assumptions, but it can get to me after a while.
Additionally, I have found a new desire – raising awareness. I have always wanted to help people but in the past two years, this yearning has only gotten stronger. I make it my mission to think of ways I can make a difference, whether that is now or in the future.
Another way in which my life has changed is my sensitivity. Before, I cared what everybody thought. I was hyper-aware of how I was acting, what I was saying, what I was doing, what I was wearing. If somebody judged me negatively for it, I felt defeated and it tore my world apart. Now, I don’t find it anywhere near as difficult. I am used to people making assumptions. I am used to people looking down on me or treating me as if I have nothing more than a basic grip on reality. Now, I don’t cry about it. I laugh. I find it quite hilarious when somebody judges me just on what they see. I realise it tells me more about them and their personality than it does my value. Having that new outlook has been invaluable.
Living with Tourette’s has taught me so much. I don’t want to come across cheesy, but this is true. I’m not saying that Tourette’s has been easy. It isn’t and it never will be. However, I have learnt things that will help shape my future. I have gained a new perspective on life and I realise that struggling in certain aspects of life can actually be a good thing, in a weird way.